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Malham you working hard to explain them. Fact is you don't require any more explanation. You're post begins and ends with you being powerless to make your own decisions. You have the worst 'luck' .and in the end you're screwed and don't know what to do. If you want to look for examples to show that your dad fucked up your life like shooting fish in a barrel. First off, parents have this tendency to be human beings .they come prepackaged as damaged goods. We all have our shit and in the end we have to repair ourselves or we're going to have more issues than we need to have. Note, more issues .not just issues .everyone has issues, you just what your's to be more difficult. That's a safe mindset. There is a reason your shit can't be overcome that way. you want to think others have it good..they don't they have it BETTER. Are some more advantaged? Absolutely, but check out the news oh does shit ever happen in their lives too. your trying to make your life easy imfuckingpossible but you can make it EASIER. But you have to start buy not making it AS hard. Life be plenty hard enough all on it's own. One way to start is to take back the power of your own choices and own 'em. No more of this luck bullshit you didn't draw names out of a hat. Remove these sneaky little ways you adopted to shirk your responsibility. Because the answer to your question is no, YOU make the determination about your relationships. Your influences, great and small, come from everywhere. Now you can chose to let that shape your choices or you can decide that you'll use them to make better ones. And right or wrong you'll take the credit for that decision. That's the real decision before you not where did all this come from..what I do with it? No one makes their wife stay home and if it happens, I have never seen it. Usually, two people who each other figure out a plan so each is as happy as possible. If the female wants to stay home (whether there are or not) and Dad agrees to support them, good for her. Great gig if you can get it. If She doesn't keep up her skills during staying home, that's foolish. She certainly has more time to do it than the working mom's who manage to do the SAHMs chores with a full time job on top of it. (And how some of us do this, is amazing. I personally have some help with cleaning but if any of you do it all, my hat is off to you but I digress) So the wife stays home, raising the..has some shitty days, some great days but is much self employed getting paid and supported by her husband. For his support, she SHOULD take care of his household needs such as dinner and laundry but we all know this isn't always the case. For sake of arguement, lets assume it is. When the marriage is over, she is essentially done with taking care of him. And yet, you think she should still be paid? She gave up one job for another. If I do that and decide to take a lower paying job to be happy, no one gives me any money if I now need to work to get a better one. Especially some person that I am no longer doing anything for. Why would I still need to be "cared for"? Because I so obviously can't care for myself with all my sacrifices!!!??? That's a load of shit that is s thinking and thoughts like these amongst our own sisters is why we never truly be equal. When it comes to a payout, we can play needy as we need to. There always be people like the one I am responding to who can justify why we aren't self sufficient.
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